Routines

The starting session today dealt with self-care.

This has certainly been something I have made a priority in my life since high school. I struggled with this skill immensely in middle school. I stayed up all night completing homework. I was not eating the way I should have been. I did not make time for my friends on the weekend. I was stressed out all the time. It was not a good time for me.

Before I entered high school, I made a promise to myself. I would never let school push me to mistreat my body like I did during middle school. I have remained committed to that goal ever since. There was a bit of a struggle maintaining that promise when I did Breakthrough my first summer, but I kept at it. Even in college with the pressure of finals, grades, projects, and fraternity events, I did not let my health and well-being fall through by the wayside.

Now I find myself about to start my first year of teaching. Everything that everyone has said to me so far has made it seem like this will likely be the hardest thing I ever have to do. I will be stressed. I will feel overwhelmed. I will be tired. Of course, all of the people I have talked to have all made it through their first year of teaching and then some, so that's certainly reassuring. It does not take away from the weight of the information they have presented me with.

I have already made the initial commitment to reach out to my friend here in Dallas at least once a week. That does not mean that I text him once a week, but I call him or we find time to hang out and spend time away from our work. It is mutually beneficial and I am grateful for his support. Although I have started to write, I do worry that I will not be able to keep it up in the mayhem that is my first year. I worry that I will not make it to the gym as much as I have and it wreaks havoc on my body. I worry that I will forgo sleep in order to finish this or that task. I worry that I will skip the freshly cooked meals in favor of fast food or microwaveable meals.

I have my mom to check in and ask how I'm doing regularly. I have my friend. I wonder if this is enough. So I ask this of you: if you have any free time in the next year, please check on me. Send me a text or encouragement or ask if I have been eating or sleeping. I hope that this is not too much to ask and I while I will certainly make an effort to randomly check in on you as well, I can make no promises that it will happen regularly. An important point the presenter made today went something along the lines of "You can only help your students when you are bringing your best self everyday, and you can only bring your best self when you are taking care of yourself." I want to be the best for my students, and I would be grateful and honored if you would take part in that commitment with me.

We also spent quite a bit of time discussing classroom culture. This is certainly something that I have a hard time wrapping my head around. There are so many things that I want to happen in my classroom, so many things I want my students to feel and do but I am not always sure how to accomplish them. I know that I want my students to feel comfortable making mistakes, but how do I show them that it is okay to do so. I want my students to know that I care genuinely care about them, but what do I say or do to convey that?

I have been blessed with so many amazing teachers in my life. I have only rarely felt constantly tense or consistently uncomfortable in a classroom throughout my K-12 experiences. As one of your former students, I know firsthand that you do this incredibly well. I just never saw all of your tricks as a student. I did not always understand the rationale behind your actions. I now want to call on all of my teachers to teach me again. What are the things that you do that help students feel safe? How do you let students know it is okay to be themselves? Any advice you can give would be incredible and would set me one step closer to being a great teacher, even in my first year.

I know that I have asked a lot of you, but I can assure you that every little thing is important to me. I appreciate you more than you will ever know. I hope that one day I can be as helpful to you as you have been and will be to me. Thank you.